My favourite TV show, Britain’s Got Talent is back. Over the years, I’ve noticed that whether you’re watching America’s Got Talent, Sweden’s Got Talent or Uzbekistan’s Got Talent, the same personality types seem to apply on each show:
1. The Nutcase
Words can’t describe this type of act. Perhaps they’re doing animal impressions whilst standing on their head or making a musical instrument out of a teapot, but whatever they do they’re nuts … and they’ll never get through.
2. The Child Star
They can only ever sing or dance (luckily nobody has taught them to recite poetry yet) but they’re normally very good. The downside though is that they’re always ridiculously smug and they always cry at the end.
3. The Pet Act
All pet acts go wrong. The ones that don’t go wrong at the audition will eventually suffer in one of the latter shows.
4. The High School Musical Star
Muscly guy does something that he’s slightly embarrassed about (such as dancing). Normally starts with a sob story and always ends with three yeses and a comment that he’ll never get bullied again.
5. The singer
Why don’t they just enter X Factor or America’s Got Talent?!
6. The SuBo
This one’s the rarity. Every now and then you see someone who is going to be so successful that they’ll end up in therapy within a couple of weeks after the audition, sat next to SuBo talking about what it was like to come second.
7. The Family Members
There has never been a good family group and there never will be. They always make me cringe and there’s always a dad, granddad or kid that lets the team down.
8. The Irony-monger
This act is so bad it’s good. Unfortunately, they can’t ever seen the irony and therefore think that they’re a million times better than they actually are; especially when they get a standing ovation.
And most importantly …
9. The magician
These kind of talent shows are tough for magicians for many reasons. The good magicians are the ones that understand why the format doesn’t suit magic and therefore won’t enter. This unfortunately means that most magicians on such shows are terrible. Please don’t judge us all based on them, however.
I can’t wait to watch the rest of the series! I wonder whether we’ll see any close-up magicians on there?